Recently, Aaron and I watched the DVD "The Secret", which is based on the book by Rhonda Byrne. I just watched it for the second time on Sunday. It is something that I am going to try to watch on a weekly basis until I get the habit of thinking positively fully incorporated into my daily life.
After watching the movie for the second time two statements in particular jumped out at me. "Do you treat others how you wish to be treated?" and "Make a list of all the things that you appreciate in your partner." I have definitely noticed that being new parents our relationship has been put on the back burner. So, my mission this week is to get into the habit of telling Aaron all the reasons that I love him...whether they are serious or silly.
So, starting on Sunday evening I started sticking little post-it notes around the house that started with "I love you because..." I have continued all week and have also included the random text messages throughout the day when I am not home. And the end result, it makes us both feel great! Aaron came home yesterday and thanked me and told me how much he has enjoyed our little messages. And he has reciprocated by telling me why he loves me. It is a fun exercise and I hope that it will continue as a tradition in our relationship! I hope this will also lead to a tradition we will share with Ava when she is old enough to understand.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Trusting Your Instinct
One of the best pieces of advise that I have been given as a new mom is to "trust your instinct". This is much easier said than done in this world of information that we live in. As convenient as the world wide web is, there is almost too much information out there sometimes, which can be overwhelming for a new parent.
Recently I have been struggling with introducing solid foods to Ava. I felt strongly from the beginning that I would wait for her to give me her signal that she was ready. I was completely open to waiting until she was 8 or 9 months old before offering anything. Then I went to her new doctor for her 6 month well child visit. She was 6.5 months old and I hadn't given her any solids yet. The doctor told me that I really should start giving her solids, especially rice cereal because she doesn't get iron from breast milk. I totally folded. Even though I know that she is getting everything she needs from me. Rice cereal had always been the last thing I wanted to give her as her first food, but for some reason I succombed to the pressure and I tried it out.
Now, 1.5 months later, Ava is 8 months old and we are right back where we started. I have offered her everything! Sweet potato, squash, banana, avocado, pears, apples, mango, and of course rice cereal. She is completely not into it and three times she has outright thrown up when I have put food in her mouth! How traumatic for Mama and probably for baby too!
I have been feeling so disappointed in myself for not sticking to my guns and following my instincts like I have on so many other key "issues" with raising a child, such as vaccinations, sleep etc. So, I have taken a complete step back. I have stopped the solid food train, it was stressing me out and probably stressing out my baby. I have had tremendous support on discussion boards on mothering.com and I have figured out the next step. I am going to try giving Ava finger food. Apparently it is quite "unnatural" for babies to eat pureed foods and it doesn't teach them to use their tongues and chew and in my child it aggitates the gag reflex. I am really nervous about choking hazards, but that is why Aaron and I are taking infant CPR this weekend. Wish me luck and I will keep you posted!
Recently I have been struggling with introducing solid foods to Ava. I felt strongly from the beginning that I would wait for her to give me her signal that she was ready. I was completely open to waiting until she was 8 or 9 months old before offering anything. Then I went to her new doctor for her 6 month well child visit. She was 6.5 months old and I hadn't given her any solids yet. The doctor told me that I really should start giving her solids, especially rice cereal because she doesn't get iron from breast milk. I totally folded. Even though I know that she is getting everything she needs from me. Rice cereal had always been the last thing I wanted to give her as her first food, but for some reason I succombed to the pressure and I tried it out.
Now, 1.5 months later, Ava is 8 months old and we are right back where we started. I have offered her everything! Sweet potato, squash, banana, avocado, pears, apples, mango, and of course rice cereal. She is completely not into it and three times she has outright thrown up when I have put food in her mouth! How traumatic for Mama and probably for baby too!
I have been feeling so disappointed in myself for not sticking to my guns and following my instincts like I have on so many other key "issues" with raising a child, such as vaccinations, sleep etc. So, I have taken a complete step back. I have stopped the solid food train, it was stressing me out and probably stressing out my baby. I have had tremendous support on discussion boards on mothering.com and I have figured out the next step. I am going to try giving Ava finger food. Apparently it is quite "unnatural" for babies to eat pureed foods and it doesn't teach them to use their tongues and chew and in my child it aggitates the gag reflex. I am really nervous about choking hazards, but that is why Aaron and I are taking infant CPR this weekend. Wish me luck and I will keep you posted!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Unnecessary Items
I remember when I was pregnant I kind of went a little crazy with the registry process. I am a big planner AND registering is like going on a shopping spree without spending any of your own money! Now that Ava is almost 8 months old I have been reflecting on how fast she is growing up and how it seems like just yesterday she was my little baby bump! There are only two things that I can think of that I could have definitely done without...
1. Buying the fancy crib bedding set. That thing was probably $300 and you really don't need it. The bumpers were really cute, but I think they are probably a suffocation hazard. The mobile is cute too, but again, unnecessary. The comforter is currently being used as a window curtain because you aren't supposed to use blankets with babies because of the suffocation hazard. The diaper holder...I used this for the first 12 weeks when I was on maternity leave, but now it is just a pain to fill it up (I cloth diaper so I just leave the clean dipes in the laundry basket). I do like the dust ruffle and the curtains and matching lamp, but again not really necessary, babies don't care about that! So basically the only necessary item: crib sheet!
2. Hiring a doula for my birth - Obviously for those of you that have read my birth story, I did not have a birth that I planned on. Aaron and I did just fine on our own and honestly, the performance of my doula is the only thing that I am truely disappointed in with my birth. She should have stopped by when my contractions were 5 minutes apart. An experienced doula should know that they need to talk to a laboring mother in order to truely assess how far along they are and I had told Aaron that I didn't want to talk to anyone (probably the first sign that things were getting serious). Instead Aaron called her for advise and she was taking a nap! I know she felt bad about the whole thing and she didn't make us pay our last installment and tried to make up for it by giving us more post-partum care, basically a really expensive house cleaner! The best thing she did for us was suggest I make a "tssss" noise to help hold myself back from pushing and taking photographs when the ambulance doors opened. Oh, and the belly caste is pretty cool, but next time around Aaron will do that.
1. Buying the fancy crib bedding set. That thing was probably $300 and you really don't need it. The bumpers were really cute, but I think they are probably a suffocation hazard. The mobile is cute too, but again, unnecessary. The comforter is currently being used as a window curtain because you aren't supposed to use blankets with babies because of the suffocation hazard. The diaper holder...I used this for the first 12 weeks when I was on maternity leave, but now it is just a pain to fill it up (I cloth diaper so I just leave the clean dipes in the laundry basket). I do like the dust ruffle and the curtains and matching lamp, but again not really necessary, babies don't care about that! So basically the only necessary item: crib sheet!
2. Hiring a doula for my birth - Obviously for those of you that have read my birth story, I did not have a birth that I planned on. Aaron and I did just fine on our own and honestly, the performance of my doula is the only thing that I am truely disappointed in with my birth. She should have stopped by when my contractions were 5 minutes apart. An experienced doula should know that they need to talk to a laboring mother in order to truely assess how far along they are and I had told Aaron that I didn't want to talk to anyone (probably the first sign that things were getting serious). Instead Aaron called her for advise and she was taking a nap! I know she felt bad about the whole thing and she didn't make us pay our last installment and tried to make up for it by giving us more post-partum care, basically a really expensive house cleaner! The best thing she did for us was suggest I make a "tssss" noise to help hold myself back from pushing and taking photographs when the ambulance doors opened. Oh, and the belly caste is pretty cool, but next time around Aaron will do that.
How it all started, the unexpected birth story
Ava Mae Additon
February 14, 2009 7:45pm
6lbs 2 oz, 20 inches long
On Friday, February 13 (3 Day past my "due date") I had an acupuncture treatment to “get things moving”. I went on a walk and later went to the hospital to see the on-call midwife and have my cervix checked. I was 1.5 cm dilated so she went ahead and stripped my membranes to see if we could get things moving. That evening Aaron and I went to dinner with a friend and then to the Museum of Art. That night I had fairly regular contractions that kept me up most of the night, but I was able to lie down during them. On Saturday, February 14, we went to the hospital for a non-stress test and to have my cervix checked again. I was 2 cm dilated and the midwife said to call if anything changes or contractions get stronger. We went home and I took a bath while Aaron went to the gym. I was able to nap for about a half hour until about 2:30 when I started having stronger contractions that I could not lay down through. Aaron called and I asked him to come home. Our doula suggested doing things to distract and not to focus too much on things we learned in our classes just yet, because it could be a long road ahead. Aaron rented a movie and we played a game. My contractions were steady at 5-6 minutes apart. We were in close touch with our doula, but didn’t feel like her presence would help at that point. Aaron would pause the movie with each contraction and walk me through each one; counting down with me when each one was winding down…they were exactly a minute in length. Around 6 or 6:30 our doula suggested that Aaron get me in the shower on an exercise ball. At that point I was having very strong contractions and started questioning in my head how long I could do this for. Aaron got me in the shower and I was starting to have stronger contractions in my lower back, so when the contractions would come I would lean forward and bounce on the ball so that water was hitting my back. Aaron tried feeding me crackers and water between contractions. I told him that I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom or the need to push. At that point my contractions jumped to 1 to 2 minutes apart. He proceeded to call the midwife after helping me to sit on the toilet. I had a strong contraction on the toilet and couldn’t fight the urge to push. My water broke and I was yelling for Aaron and he came back in the bathroom and could see a little bit of Ava’s head. He managed to get me dressed and downstairs between contractions. Once we were down stairs I had another strong contraction and I couldn’t fight my body’s need to push. The midwife could hear me yelling and told Aaron to call 911 immediately. He called 911 and the dispatcher started to tell him the supplies he would need in case we had to deliver at home. The ambulance showed up 3-4 minutes later. They assessed whether to deliver at home or in transit. They put me on a stretcher in between contractions. Aaron followed the ambulance to the hospital in our vehicle. Once they got me settled in the ambulance they told me that if I had a desire to push I could. I would say that after 5 or 6 contractions and pushing Ava was out. They were pulling Ava out and putting her on my chest when the ambulance pulled up to the hospital. They cut the cord in the ambulance but Aaron was able to recut it once we were in the hospital.
February 14, 2009 7:45pm
6lbs 2 oz, 20 inches long
On Friday, February 13 (3 Day past my "due date") I had an acupuncture treatment to “get things moving”. I went on a walk and later went to the hospital to see the on-call midwife and have my cervix checked. I was 1.5 cm dilated so she went ahead and stripped my membranes to see if we could get things moving. That evening Aaron and I went to dinner with a friend and then to the Museum of Art. That night I had fairly regular contractions that kept me up most of the night, but I was able to lie down during them. On Saturday, February 14, we went to the hospital for a non-stress test and to have my cervix checked again. I was 2 cm dilated and the midwife said to call if anything changes or contractions get stronger. We went home and I took a bath while Aaron went to the gym. I was able to nap for about a half hour until about 2:30 when I started having stronger contractions that I could not lay down through. Aaron called and I asked him to come home. Our doula suggested doing things to distract and not to focus too much on things we learned in our classes just yet, because it could be a long road ahead. Aaron rented a movie and we played a game. My contractions were steady at 5-6 minutes apart. We were in close touch with our doula, but didn’t feel like her presence would help at that point. Aaron would pause the movie with each contraction and walk me through each one; counting down with me when each one was winding down…they were exactly a minute in length. Around 6 or 6:30 our doula suggested that Aaron get me in the shower on an exercise ball. At that point I was having very strong contractions and started questioning in my head how long I could do this for. Aaron got me in the shower and I was starting to have stronger contractions in my lower back, so when the contractions would come I would lean forward and bounce on the ball so that water was hitting my back. Aaron tried feeding me crackers and water between contractions. I told him that I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom or the need to push. At that point my contractions jumped to 1 to 2 minutes apart. He proceeded to call the midwife after helping me to sit on the toilet. I had a strong contraction on the toilet and couldn’t fight the urge to push. My water broke and I was yelling for Aaron and he came back in the bathroom and could see a little bit of Ava’s head. He managed to get me dressed and downstairs between contractions. Once we were down stairs I had another strong contraction and I couldn’t fight my body’s need to push. The midwife could hear me yelling and told Aaron to call 911 immediately. He called 911 and the dispatcher started to tell him the supplies he would need in case we had to deliver at home. The ambulance showed up 3-4 minutes later. They assessed whether to deliver at home or in transit. They put me on a stretcher in between contractions. Aaron followed the ambulance to the hospital in our vehicle. Once they got me settled in the ambulance they told me that if I had a desire to push I could. I would say that after 5 or 6 contractions and pushing Ava was out. They were pulling Ava out and putting her on my chest when the ambulance pulled up to the hospital. They cut the cord in the ambulance but Aaron was able to recut it once we were in the hospital.
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